When people plan to marry, they expect to
find in their partner not only a lover but
a friend also. A person with whom they can
share their opinions, their emotions, thoughts
and fears. In marriage we are looking for
a partner who will be able to understand our
values, our likes and dislikes.
If a man and a woman are born and raised
in the same country, most likely they are
familiar with the same songs, movies, jokes,
books and life in general. They basically
have the same roots. In the case of a western
man -foreign woman family everything is more
complicated and requires much more patience
and understanding from both spouses.
On one hand each of the partners has an opportunity
to learn a great deal about the other’s
country, culture, traditions and life styles
which can be very interesting. On the other
hand it can be very disappointing, the inability
to understand your partner’s excitements
and, or frustrations. For example, say you
are watching the television and suddenly you
see a famous actor or singer, or other type
of an artist whose name you have grown up
with. Maybe this artist was an idol for your
parents and the music of this artist was often
played in your house when you were a child.
Now seeing this singer on television reminded
you about your parents and house where you
grew up in . You nostalgically remembered
the tree that you saw from your window. You
feel very light headed about this memory and
want to share this feeling with your foreign
wife.
Unfortunately you realize that she is unable
to understand your feelings because she has
no idea who this artist is. Her eyes are absolutely
empty, she has never even heard the song before.
You cannot believe it ! You tell her that
this artist is so famous! Everyone knows him!
How it possible that she doesn't know??? Your
light feelings of nostalgic disappear and
instead you feel within your soul at very
large disappointment ...
Be patient! Don’t become upset
so quickly. Remember that your wife has the
same situation with you. You don t know
her country’s songs, her country's famous
actors, her books. She has her own memories
and in actuality, for her, everything is much
more difficult than it is for you. At least,
you live in your own country where everybody
can understand you. She lives in completely
strange surroundings, where she has nobody
to share her feelings with, except you.
Do some research and learn about your
wife's country, culture and lifestyles. Talk
with her, ask her questions, get to know what
songs she likes, what movies and books are
of interest to her. The Internet will
give you a great opportunity to find anything!
Tell her about your country's culture, let
her listen to the music that you like, rent
a movie for her that left you with great impression.
Let her understand you better through the
things that you like. Patience and time will
help you to fight cultural differences .
Marina Smiley is the author of some of the
most popular eBooks about Russian-Western
marriages. These eBooks are available through
www.search4russianbride.com
Read more articles and books about
Russian women
by Marina Smiley.
